Cosmo’s At It Again

Yes, you read me correctly. I’m gearing up to rip Cosmo a new one. Again. Sometimes I can’t believe I spent even the $5 on my subscription.

The title of the article in question: “He Didn’t Want to Date Me – He Wanted to Be Me!” complete with a hairy man-leg squeezed into a glittery gold platform pump.

Apparently the girl writing this article (as told by, and whom I will call, Sarah Kennedy) had joined Match.com to troll for dick (I’m sorry, this chick just strikes me as a straight up terrible person). She got a message from a supa-sexy Italian man with wavy dark hair. The two met up for drinks at “a cool downtown bar in New York City” (I mean, where else do the beautiful people live?). They had a great night, she was blown away by his manners, and he gave her a nice little peck at the end of their date. Everything seems to be going just fine, right?

They continue to text (their main method of communication), and Chris opens up quite a bit, perhaps even a little too much, showing his trust for Sarah when he tells her he has his nipples pierced and that his father is getting a sex change. Yeah, it’s unfortunate that all of this unfolds over text, but I mean, it is what it is.

Well long story short, Sarah gets blown off by Chris for another date and he tells her that he’s actually out on a date with another man. SHOCKER OF THE YEAR apparently for Ms. Kennedy. She flips out, especially after Chris reveals that he’s actually the one considering getting a sex change.

So why in the world, you may ask, would this transsexual woman interested in men contact a self-proclaimed straight woman for a date? According to Chris, he (I’m using masculine pronouns for now, since that’s how he was referred to in the article, which may or may not be correct according to his preferences. Not that Cosmo would give a shit.) saw Sarah’s profile and immediately fell in love with her style, her dark hair that matched his, and how she did her makeup. Apparently that’s… not ok. In Cosmoland the correct response is “I mean, really? REALLY?” and then turning your phone off.

I’m sorry, if a searching, possibly nervous, transsexual male-to-female individual complimented my style and respected me enough to even want to get advice from me, I would be extremely flattered! Chris put himself out on a major limb revealing all of this to her, and she spit it back in his face. The only thing I happen to sympathize with is Sarah’s statement: “I didn’t join a dating site to find a style twin.” True, quite true, but she also didn’t join a dating site to get messages from douchebags trying to score, which she also undoubtedly received.

Sarah goes so far to as to block Chris from her phone and change her email address. That’s extreme, man.

I’m getting sick and tired of flipping through Cosmo issues, past the beauty and health tricks, and seeing nothing but gender-normative relationship advice (HAHA), problems, and sex tips. Seriously, I’m fed up. For a magazine that advertises itself as and was made famous by open communication about sex, it’s shockingly intolerant. I’m a bit over-sensitive about it I suppose, but reading this article just made me feel gross inside. Ashamed of my generation, the one that pretends to be above such prejudice. Yeah, right. We’ve still got such a long way to go.

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