Back To The Beginning

Been a while since I wrote, huh? To be honest, the biggest reason I haven’t been active lately is one thing – and that thing is called Guild Wars 2. No lie, I’m obsessed. 12-hour days playing? Three level 80 characters? Yeah, that’s healthy. We’ll get to my whole lack of a real life issue in another post soon enough.

At any rate, a lot has also been happening on top of that dragon-killing background, but I figured I’d start with the positive, to jump back into this blogging thing without sounding too depressed and whiny. So let’s talk about modeling again, the whole reason I started this darn thing in the first place.

I recently had the opportunity to do something totally different, that is, I actually did some photo modeling as opposed to letting aspiring artists draw me like one of their French girls. Being part of a photo shoot is ridiculously more glamorous-feeling than taking my clothes off in front of some college art kids. It’s more exciting, more dynamic, but also a lot more nerve-wracking. What if my eyes cross, or I have a double-chin? What about my fat rolls (though I wasn’t naked for the photo shoot)? What if I simply look like a derp?

All of my modeling fears rolled into one.

All of my modeling fears rolled into one.

Like I said, I wasn’t naked, but these weren’t exactly innocent, sexless pictures either. To be frank, it was a lingerie shoot, no I didn’t get paid, yes I control who has access to the pictures, no I don’t ever want to run for public office. I’d go into more detail, but I don’t think I’m ready for you to know me that well yet.  I’ll admit, some of them came out pretty fucking amazing, but others… It kind of sucks to have a collection of halfway decent photos that you’re afraid to show anybody out of embarrassment that you also can’t bear to throw away because what if one day you have to prove that you were actually there? (Like in a dramatic murder investigation led by a sexy detective with nothing to lose who gets a little “rough” during interrog– wait that only happens in bad romance novels? Whatever, it’s a possibility, I’m still keeping the pictures.) On the other hand, having all the pictures in one place, with each file directly under your control is also really nice in comparison to a painting that gets thrown in some drawer somewhere

In case any of you are worrying about the violation of my privacy or my reputation being smeared on the Internet for all eternity, please don’t. The photographer was a friend, not some rando, and he was over-the-top respectful every step of the way.

The photo shoot really made me look at my body differently than from a figure modeling perspective. I’ve both gained and lost weight since my last art modeling sessions and the photo shoot occurred somewhere during my time of my less-than satisfactory self-image. But those pictures that turned out amazing? They were amazing because of my body, not just because of the lighting and artistic composition. Fuck yeah I have curvy belly, and thighs, and hips (and I mean, HIPS)! And day-um gurl you look GOOD! I may not have been overall happy with the way my body looked on that particular day, but the pictures reminded me how each shape and size really does carry its own assets. So to speak.

I think I should just stop there before I blather on anymore. Modeling, it’s fun, you should try it sometime. I’ll probably write more about health and weight in my next post, but for now, I just say hello, and it’s good to be writing again. See you soon!


Leave a comment


  1. Don

     /  May 28, 2013

    IT is nice to see you back.


  2. trickydicky64

     /  June 4, 2013

    Hi! I just started following your blog, and I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty awesome that you talk about your body in such a positive way. It’s nice to see a woman who is proud of how she looks and who she is, and isn’t afraid to talk about it. I’m gonna show my girlfriend, and I’m sure she will laugh as hard as I did at the cat meme that went so well with this post!


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